I know that there are some on here who are deceived and believe that women aren’t supposed to preach and teach.
If that’s you, well, you are going to like me even less now so you might want to scroll past this post because that’s exactly what I am about to do – preach and teach and bring down a few kingdoms in the process.
And you’re probably not going to like it.
This is really for the ladies, but it’s a lesson that the men could stand to learn as well.
Ladies, submission, BIBLICAL submission, does NOT mean that you are a slave to your husband. It does not mean that he can treat you like a child, making you feel small and powerless. It does not mean that he can bully you or control you or rule you with an iron fist.
A man who demands that type of submission is abusing you.
Religious abuse is real and it is one of the most destructive tools that hell uses against the family.
Many men read that the husband has authority over the wife – but they stop there.
It is true, the husband is the head of the household. BUT that authority does not give him free license to devalue, humiliate, belittle, or emotionally or physically wound his wife.
He is actually called to a higher standard because of that authority and is COMMANDED to love his wife as Christ loved the church.
Yeshua did not bully the church or devalue it. He did not humiliate or belittle it or wound it physically or emotionally. He did not seek to control it or rule it with an iron fist. He didn’t treat it like a child or make it feel small and powerless.
No, He EMPOWERED it. He RESPECTED it. He ENCOURAGED it. He LED by SERVING so that it would GROW and FLOURISH.
And that is what your husband is supposed to do for you.
He is supposed to be LIFTING YOU UP so that you can FIND YOUR PURPOSE that Yehovah has for you – not by telling you what it is but by SUPPORTING you and giving you the room and freedom to find it.
You are NOT an extension of your husband! You are one flesh, but you are also individuals. You are not his property and Yehovah has a purpose for you that is ONLY YOURS.
And in that you are one flesh, does one part of your own flesh have dominance over another? No, it all works together.
So, ladies, if you are with someone who is using scripture against you, to abuse you, know that Yehovah God never intended for you to be treated that way. Man has perverted His word because the god they serve is NOT the God of the Bible.
Paul named six virtues that should be demonstrated and pursued by a man of Yehovah. They are righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, and gentleness. Those are the qualities that your husband should be demonstrating – how he should be treating you. He should be protecting you and providing for you physically as well as spiritually. PROVIDING for you spiritually so that you can find YOUR OWN purpose and plan that Yehovah has for you.
Most of all, he is supposed to set a GOOD and GODLY example for you and your children. When he chose to step into the role of husband and father, he chose to come under the authority of Yehovah God and the spiritual authority that was placed over him by Yehovah. It is his RESPONSIBILITY to set the example for his family regarding how to submit to authority by submitting to the spiritual authority that Yehovah has placed over him.
If he does not do that, he is OUT OF ORDER.
Somewhere along the way they became lost, caught up in the shiny promises of a spirit that is completely contrary to Yehovah.
But know this. Yehovah wants you SAFE physically, mentally, AND SPIRITUALLY.
I’ll be publishing more on this in the coming days. I have such a burden for the abused and misused. We are going to explore what true biblical submission is – for both men and women.
You’ve been sold a bill of goods that isn’t biblical – many of you anyway. You have been told lies about your role as a wife and yes, as a husband.
Let’s sort this out because if you don’t get it right, your entire family is corrupted. And that abuse will be perpetuated throughout your generations.
Let’s drag this demon out into the light and deal with it, shall we?
Verses for study
Ephesians 5:25-29
Ephesians 5:21-24
1 Peter 3:1-7
Colossians 3:19
Ephesians 6:4
Ephesians 5:31
1 Corinthians 7:1-5
Proverbs 18:22
Proverbs 31:10-12
1 Timothy 6:11
Should women be allowed to teach and preach? That is the question this book answers. There is a long standing belief by many religious people that women are scripturally prohibited from preaching and teaching. In this book, The Unsilenced Woman, the author delves into scripture, examines the culture of the time, and looks at history to uncover the truth. Is it time to unsilence the woman? There’s too much evidence to deny it.
There is a lot of confusion out there regarding speaking in other tongues. Some people believe tongues is necessary for salvation, some believe that tongues is a gift that only certain people receive, some believe that tongues is a prayer language, and some believe tongues is demonic.
The truth is, the infilling of the Holy Spirit is necessary for salvation, and speaking in tongues is the evidence of that.
BUT
It can ALSO be one of the gifts of the spirit as well as a prayer language.
AND
You have to be careful who you listen to because there are demonic tongues too.
So, yeah, lots of confusion there.
Let’s see if we can’t break some of it down to provide a better understanding of the types of tongues and how to spot the real deal from the fake stuff.
Tongues as Evidence of the Infilling of the Holy Spirit
This is where many people get it backwards, especially those who have never spoken in tongues. They try to assert that it is not necessary to speak in tongues to be saved. What they do not understand is that talking in tongues will not save you.
Let me say that again.
Talking in tongues will not save you.
Talking in tongues is evidence of receiving the baptism of the Holy Spirit and THAT is necessary for salvation. Acts 2:38 says, “Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.”
Let’s break this down.
The Holy Spirit had already fallen on the disciples and they had all spoken in tongues (Acts 2:4), but in verse 38 the people who put Jesus to death realized what they had done. They were convicted, grieved. They asked what they should do. Peter gave them the answer.
- Repent: Confess your sins to God, ask for forgiveness, and then change – sin no more.
- Baptism: Be baptized by immersion in water by the name of Yeshua (Jesus) for the remission of your sins.
- Holy Spirit: Seek the infilling of the Holy Spirit. This means to be in obedience and to be faithful to God. You will know that you are filled with the Holy Spirit because you will speak in other tongues as the spirit gives utterance.
If you have not spoken in other tongues, then you have not been filled with the Holy Spirit (as demonstrated in scripture).
How do we know that tongues follows the infilling of the Holy Spirit? Because when we look at how people were baptized in scripture after the Holy Spirit was given at Shavuot (Pentecost), that is the pattern we see. They were baptized in the name of Yeshua and they spoke in other tongues when they were filled with the Holy Spirit.
We can also look at the perfect example in Matthew 3:13-17 when John baptized Yeshua. It says that the Holy Spirit descended like a dove and lit on Him. That was a SIGN that the Holy Spirit was given.
Prior to the resurrection, there were physical things that became spiritual after the resurrection. Circumcision is one. But Yeshua’s baptism is a template, a perfect example. You go down in baptism and receive the gift of the Holy Spirit, but there is ALWAYS a supernatural sign. Prior to the resurrection, in Yeshua’s example, we see it was like a dove.
After the resurrection, in all the scripture that talks about people getting baptized and getting the Holy Spirit, it was tongues that was the sign.
There are several instances where the salvation formula is spelled out, including water baptism in the name of Yeshua and the infilling of the Holy Spirit evidenced by speaking in other tongues. In the mouth of two or three witnesses, let Yehovah’s word is established (2 Corinthians 13:1-4).
It is also worth noting that Acts 5:32 tells us that Yehovah gives His spirit to those who obey Him. It’s more than that though, it’s complete submission to Him. It’s an attitude of meekness, saying, “My God I put myself in Your hands. Have Your way.”
This type of tongues does not require any interpretation. It is to be evidence for the person who received the Holy Spirit and those around them. It is the way to know for sure that the person is filled.
Study
Mark 16:15-18
Acts 2:4
Acts 10:44-46
Acts 19:6
Tongues as One of the Gifts of the Spirit
Tongues as one of the spiritual gifts is described in 1 Corinthians 12:8-11. This is the type of tongues that people misunderstand the most. They erroneously believe that ALL tongues are this type – and it is most definitely NOT.
When you study the scripture you will see that this type of tongues involves two people. One person speaks in tongues and another interprets. Sometimes there are more with one person gives the interpretation and another picks it up after.
But it is always done in order. If it is truly of Yehovah, then there will be no confusion. No one will be trying to talk over another. And the interpretation will be biblical, backed up completely by scripture.
This type of tongues is indeed a gift and not everyone has it. Not everyone has that gift of tongues and not everyone has that gift of tongues that is interpretation. They go hand in hand.
This does not mean that everytime a person speaks in tongues in public that it has to be interpreted. Praying in tongues is usually not meant to be interpreted. That is a prayer language for the person. We’ll get to that in a minute.
When the gift of tongues is in operation, a hush will fall over the group. The atmosphere has a different texture, one of reverence and awe. Then one person will begin speaking in tongues. When they are finished, the people wait. It is quiet. Then the person who has the interpretation will speak (provided they are obedient to the prompting of the Spirit). It is unmistakable and feels nothing like praying in tongues.
Study
1 Corinthians 12:8-11
1 Corinthians 14:1-28
Tongues as a Prayer Language
Tongues can also be a prayer language. This is available to all believers who are submitted to Yehovah. In fact, once you receive the infilling of the Holy Spirit, evidenced by speaking in other tongues, you should pray in tongues each day.
This accomplishes several things. It encourages you to maintain that flow of the Spirit. It keeps you connected so that you can “pray without ceasing,” and it edifies you, builds you up, and deepens your walk with Yehovah.
Romans 8:26 describes praying in the Spirit as the Spirit “making intercession” for you in “groaning that cannot be uttered.” When you don’t know what to pray or how to pray, when you are so overwhelmed with life, when you don’t know the right direction in a situation, praying in the Spirit is the answer.
When you are interceding, especially when you have been called to interccession, you will need to be able to pray in tongues because Yehovah will call you to pray for people or situations and you will have no idea who or what it is. You just trust in the Spirit of Yehovah to guide your prayer and let it flow.
Study
Mark 16:15-18
1 Corinthians 14:1-40
Romans 8:26-27
Jude 20
Spotting “Fake” Tongues
Matthew 7:15-20 tells us that we will recognize false prophets, wolves in sheep’s clothing, by the fruit that they bear. So, when you encounter a teacher or prophet, someone who says they are spirit-filled, you need to examine the fruit that they bear. It should line up with scripture.
What are the fruits of the Spirit? Galatians 5 discusses those things of the Spirit in depth. Verses 22 and 23 give us a list.
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
Galatians 5:22-23
23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
Verses 19 through 21 tell us how to identify the works (fruit) of the flesh.
19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,
Galatians 5:19-21
20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,
21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.
Many of these traits are very subtle. But remember, the serpent was the most subtle beast in the field (Genesis 3:1). You have to be sober and vigilant (1 Peter 5:8), study to show yourself approved (2 Timothy 2:15), and pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17). Make sure that they can support everything in scripture and study it out for yourself.
Don’t just take their word for it, search the scripture for yourself. Study it out.
So, even if they are speaking in other tongues, if the fruit is not holy, then be very careful.
Study
Matthew 7:15-20
1 Corinthians 13:1-13
Galatians 5
Speaking in Tongues is Biblical
Speaking in tongues is biblical. Praying in tongues is biblical. Having a good understandin go the types of tongues that are available to you has a believer will help you have a deeper, more meaningful walk with Yehovah.
If you do not have the Holy Ghost yet (have not spoken in other tongues), then seek after it. Pray for Yehovah to fill you with His Spirit.
Get in the word and study daily. Pray daily. Work on your relationship with Your Creator. Cultivate it, nurture it, build it just as you would with the people in your life. Submit yourself to Him. Present yourself as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to Yehovah (Romans 12:1). That is what He wants from you.
There are many biblical requirements for being a pastor, a shepherd, an overseer, an elder. Salvation (Acts 2:38) is not enough. Keeping Torah is not enough. Yes, that’s an excellent start, but it’s just that – a start.
There’s so much more.
Knowing Bible verses is not enough. Even having an intellectual understanding of scripture is not enough.
You must have spiritual understanding and that can only come from the Holy Ghost.
You must be SUBMITTED to Yehovah so that He can write His words on your heart. Having them in your head is not enough.
And you MUST be submitted to the authority that He puts over you. EVERY pastor MUST be submitted to the authority that Yehovah placed over him – and yes, He assigns an authority over EVERY pastor, without exception. There are no Lone Rangers in this army. It doesn’t work that way. So, if you are called to pastor, you WILL have a spiritual authority over you and you ARE commanded to submit to that authority.
But there is SO MUCH more.
If you are called to pastor, scripture says that you will be held to a higher standard.
This means you must live as clean and as close to the Word of God as possible.
This means you MUST put away the THINGS OF THE WORLD: alcohol, drugs, smoking, witchcraft, selfishness, idolatry, productions of the world, etc.
And if you don’t know what that is, you aren’t ready.
It also means that your SPOUSE must live as clean and as close to the Word of God as possible.
If they are rebellious, defiant, vindictive, or controlling, they need deliverance and they need to submit to Yehovah.
If they refuse to submit to pastoral authority, to the spiritual authority placed over them (this includes submission to their spouse – 1 Peter 3:1-7), they CANNOT submit to Yehovah.
They will hinder YOUR ministry. They have the potential to destroy it.
If you can’t get your own house in order, you aren’t ready.
It means that you must have self-control and not be prone to emotional outbursts, anger, rage, cursing, or control.
If you still struggle with these things, you aren’t ready.
It means that you have to learn how to put others above yourself, be considerate, respectful, and compassionate toward others.
If you are not able to do this, you aren’t ready.
It means that you must be CONSISTENT. As a pastor, you don’t get to brood and pout when you are angry. You don’t get to sulk and fume instead of ministering to others, or sullenly sit, stewing in your anger instead of praying, especially when in a corporate prayer setting.
You pray NO MATTER HOW YOU FEEL.
It means getting into the Word of God and STUDYING it for YOURSELF instead of regurgitating word for word what others have taught or reading line by line canned sermons. It means working out your OWN salvation and allowing the Holy Ghost to guide your teaching.
If you can’t do that, you aren’t ready.
You are not only scripturally commanded to walk as Yeshua did, to reflect the nature of Yehovah, and BE HOLY as He is holy, you are setting an EXAMPLE for others to follow.
If you can’t do that, you aren’t ready.
It means having some reverence in the house of Yehovah. You don’t have to wear a three-piece suit, but remember, you are setting an example. You are showing others that the God you serve is worthy of RESPECT and HONOR. Teenagers wear tee shirts and jeans or shorts, adults who have been called into the service of Yehovah respect Him enough to OBEY His command to dress modestly. They show their respect for their God by dressing in a manner that reflects the reverence they have for Him. When you grew up, you put away childish things.
If you can’t do that, you aren’t ready.
It means that you must have a spirit of GRATITUDE. You must be HUMBLE. And you must exhibit these things regardless of your position or circumstances, whether you are living in a box under a bridge or a fancy house on a hill. Regardless of whether you are a prince or a pauper. Regardless of whether you are preaching to your own congregation or sitting on someone else’s pew.
It also means that you treat people the same, when you need them and when you don’t. You treat them with the same respect when they can do something for you and when they can’t, when you need them to help you, and when you no longer need their help.
If you can’t do that, you aren’t ready.
Pastors are held to a higher standard. If you have been called, Yehovah is not only calling you to the pulpit, He is calling you to His service. He is calling you to SERVE OTHERS, to care for them, to grieve for the souls of the lost.
You MUST understand that you were not called to this to be superior, and it isn’t about you being right, it’s about being a servant and helping the lost escape a burning, eternal hell.
You need to spend less time seeking the spotlight and more time seeking Yehovah in the prayer room, less time on the stage, and more time on your knees.
Understand that He did NOT call you to be in the spotlight or to be exalted.
It isn’t about Y O U. It’s all about H I M.
If you can’t handle that, you aren’t ready.
You must be SPIRITUALLY MATURE. Any pursuit of leadership in ministry, especially pastoral, when you lack spiritual maturity leads to the trap of pride – and SIN abounds there.
If you aren’t spiritually mature, you definitely are not ready.
A lack of readiness does not undermine or nullify your calling. It simply means you aren’t ready – YET. It means that you have some work to do on YOU.
Preparing for pastoring means that you have to hold a very brutal, honest mirror up to your own face daily. It means that you have to look beneath the veneer that you show the world and peer into the darkness of your heart. It means that you have to root out the world and deny the very nature of man – the sinful nature – and make the decision to walk with Yehovah every single day.
It means putting yourself in a place of service. It means getting humble. It means constantly praying, “Lord, change ME!”
And when you can do that, THEN you will be ready.
Scripture for Study
Ezekiel 34:1-16
Acts 20:28
James 5:13–14
Romans 12:3–8
Titus 1
1 Timothy 3
1 Peter 5
1 Timothy 5:19-20
Matthew 18:15-18
Hebrews 13:7
1 Thessalonians 5:12–13
1 Timothy 4:1–2
by Stephanie A. Mayberry
So many want to beat the 613 “ordinances” (Colossians 2:14) drum, claiming that “the law” was nailed to the cross, but they don’t even know what it means.
They want to say we aren’t under the law but they have no clue whatsoever what “law” they are talking about – or even any aspects of that law.
So, here’s a quick rundown to get you started.
First, an ordinance can be a law or rule, BUT it can also be a rite or ceremony – SUCH AS animal sacrifice to atone for sins.
Second, you can’t lump all these “ordinances” or “laws” under one category. Read on to see why.
And let’s just get this little nugget of critical thinking out of the way. Without law you have CHAOS. Political philosopher Thomas Hobbs entertained the idea of a world without government and determined that people would be out of control, triggering utter chaos.
He was right – still is.
And remember, our GOD is a GOD OF ORDER. Would a GOD OF ORDER do away with His law? Especially when He said that His law would stand FOREVER?
Think about that.
There is a great deal of ignorance surrounding these 613 “ordinances” and part of it is simply due to the cherry-picking culture of the modern church, but part of it is being afraid of the truth. Because if the truth is that God’s law does indeed exist and is relevant to our salvation and walk with him, that there are things you are COMMANDED by GOD ALMIGHTY to be and do in order to “be holy as He is holy,“ well, that’s a lot of work.
Quite frankly, the vast majority of “Christians” are lazy – and extremely resistant to submission or sacrifice. They love the world and the things of the world.
And knowing that the book expressly states that the law is necessary and required scares them.
But back to these 613 “ordinances”
IF people actually knew what those 613 “ordinances” really are, they would realize how ridiculous their claim is that they are no longer valid.
Because if you throw out those 613 “ordinances” then:
Deuteronomy 22:5 is no longer valid so men can wear women’s clothing and women can wear men’s clothing
Deuteronomy 18:10 is no longer valid so sorcery is A-OK.
Leviticus 19:28 is no longer valid, so now you can go get that tattoo you’ve always wanted.
Leviticus 26:1 is no longer valid, so feel free to erect an idol to worship.
Leviticus 18:21 is no longer valid, so you can go right ahead and burn your children in a sacrificial fire to Molech
Exodus 22:21 is no longer valid so you can go right ahead and oppress the weak
Leviticus 19:16 is no longer valid so you can jump right in there and slander whoever you like
Exodus 20:3 is no longer valid so you can have as many gods as you like
Deuteronomy 6:5 is no longer valid, so you don’t have to love Yehovah God
Exodus 23:8 is no longer valid so judges can now accept bribes – let the corruption roll!
Deuteronomy 13:1 is no longer valid so you can add to the Torah commandments however you like
Leviticus 18:10 is no longer valid so it’s perfectly fine to have relations with your son’s daughter
Leviticus 18:13 is no longer valid so you can finally have relations with your mother’s sister – or your father’s brother’s wife (Leviticus 18:14) – or your son’s wife (Leviticus 18:15)
See, you can’t lump them all into one big group of “ordinances.” You must be wise, use discernment.
Or better, just some good, ole common sense.
They are not all in the same category. Some are intended to be kept forever (and that should be obvious) while others, those pertaining to animal sacrifice to atone for sins were never intended to be kept forever. They were only to be instituted until Yeshua shed His blood and took that place.
THIS is why it is important to STUDY the word for yourself and not chase after the perverted teachings of rabbis who subscribe to the twisted, unbiblical rabbinic laws – and worse, unstudied preachers and teachers who still have one foot in the world.
THIS is why it is important to STUDY the word and seek teaching from those who are solid in their knowledge and study because there are a lot of kooks out there who have absolutely no clue what they are talking about and will fill your head with all kinds of crazy, half-baked philosophies that will seriously mess up your theology and corrupt your understanding of the Word.
STUDY people! Stop listening to every crazy person on the internet! Stop giving your time and attention to every quack who knows how to work a camera phone. Stop buying into every heretic who knows how to make a video.
You must be discerning! Not every person who publishes something on the internet is telling you the truth!
And if they can’t provide scripture IN CONTEXT to support their claims, turn it off and BLOCK THEM.
Because if you subscribe to the “we’re not under the law” heresy, then you are a worker of iniquity. Do I need to remind you what happens to them?
Read Matthew 7:21-23
Related Posts
Not Under the Law – Really?
Jesus Fulfilled the Law: What does that mean?
Exposing the Fallacy of “We’re Not Under the Law”
What Law did Yeshua Fulfill?
17 No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord.
Isaiah 54:17
If you are mistreating, abusing, deceiving, or otherwise harming any of Yehovah’s anointed, His servants, in any way, this verse should strike fear in your heart. He said vengeance is His for those who OBEY Him and live according to His word.
So, if you are a weapon that the enemy has formed against one of His believers, His obedient servants, you should be very, very afraid.
Things will not end well for you.
How do you know you are abusing them? You do things to hurt them or that you know will make them feel bad. You lie, go back on your word, deceive, the list goes on and on. Whatever the case, if you are reasonably intelligent, you know you are abusing them – even if you won’t admit it, not even to yourself.
Know this though, Yehovah God sees ALL and he sees all you do. You can’t hide from Him (Hebrews 4:13). You can’t deceive Him. You can’t justify your sin to Him.
And if you don’t repent, your reward will be living with the evil you harbor (Proverbs 17:13). You won’t be able to escape it. You won’t be able to hide from it. You won’t be able to accumulate enough things or make enough money to get away from it.
And you WILL NOT prosper.
I see this over and over, the wicked hate the believers and try to beat them down, destroy them.
Joke’s on you though. Because those believers hold onto something greater than all the evil you bring against them. They have Yehovah God on their side and He will exact vengeance on their behalf (Romans 12:19).
And know that the day of your calamity will come (Deuteronomy 32:35).
You mess with His chosen and you will face His wrath. If not in this life, then while you burn in the fires of hell.
Your ONLY hope is to repent.
Make it right. Apologize to those you have wronged and do all that you can to make it right.
Put away your god of money, of material things, of work, of hatred, of control, of status, of jealousy, and turn to the ONLY one who can save you. Turn to the ONLY one who can give you a life worth living and an eternity worth living right for.
Put away your jealousy, your wrath, your anger and bitterness and be kind (Ephesians 4:31-32).
As long as you allow the enemy to use you, you will not prosper. You will not get ahead, and you will have chosen your prince who will accompany you into eternity.
But when you choose to obey Yehovah and treat His chosen accordingly, then His promises will follow.
Bible Verses for Study
This is a follow-up to Children Learn What They Live where I talked about a parent’s responsibility to set a good, Godly example for their children.
Now let’s talk about those examples.
Your life should be an example that teaches your children how to live a holy life. You should reflect the nature of God in all that you do and the fruits of the spirit should be abundant within you.
If you are consistent with these things, your children will see it and learn it.
But if you are hot then cold, out of the world then back in it, they are going to tend to lean away from the things of God and gravitate to the world. That is the nature of man.
If you want something different in your home, your family, your children, then you need to BE something different for them.
Case in point. We recently had a family in one of our meetings. We were doing corporate prayer. This couple had been involved in our group for a couple of years. They knew how to pray and had no problems praying. But this particular time they were brooding, angry, and wrapped up in themselves. They had been gradually turning to the things of the world and the world was taking root in them.
On this particular day, in this meeting, we were doing corporate prayer. This couple and their children sat with us as we began. They were angry and had been displaying some inappropriate behaviors but our hope was that the prayer would help to get them back on the right track.
While the other members prayed and appealed to God, we felt the resistance in the spirit. I opened my eyes to see what was going on. They were just sitting there. The husband was brooding and scowling while the wife just looked around at everyone, completely disinterested like she would rather be anywhere other than in that prayer meeting.
They weren’t praying and they weren’t interested in praying.
But then I looked at the children.
They were watching their parents.
And it clicked for me right then. THAT is why the children aren’t engaged with the kids’ lessons and activities. That is why they aren’t interested. They are learning it from their parents! Sure, mom and dad might pray at home here and there, but obviously there are other things going on just based on the behavior they displayed in that meeting.
They didn’t care that they were dragging down the rest of the group. They didn’t care that their behavior was disrespectful to everyone. They didn’t even care that their children were taking in the example they were setting in that moment.
All they cared about was themselves and what they wanted.
And what they wanted definitely did NOT include God.
Then they wonder why their children aren’t interested in the things of God.
Children learn what they live folks.
I’ll ask again, what are you teaching YOUR kids?
I often have parents ask me how they can get their children more interested in the things of God and how they can get them more engaged. There are tons of things that they can do, but the very best way is for the parents themselves to live it 24/7.
If you are going to church and putting on that “God suit” then coming home and cursing out your spouse or drinking to “cope with problems” you aren’t living the scripture.
That makes you look an awful lot like a hypocrite and don’t think for one second that your kids don’t see that.
Your children are watching you. They see you go to church and raise your hands. They see you pray and praise. They see you get involved, but when you get home you step right back into the world. Sure, you may come out of it occasionally to pray or watch a preaching video, but you’re walking around fuming, angry, and fighting with your spouse, doing things that someone who is sincerely seeking holiness would not do.
You might be talking the talk, but your walk needs a little work – or a lot.
Children see way more than you realize and like it or not, children learn what they live.
You can talk till you are blue in the face about what they are supposed to do or how they are supposed to act, but unless YOU are living YOUR life that way, it isn’t going to mean too much to them.
And if you have kids living in your double-mindedness, you are likely going to have kids who aren’t interested in the things of God and not interested in pursuing Him or having a relationship with Him. You’ll be lucky if they even believe in Him because what you show them is that it’s all fake.
What they see is that it’s all an act. It’s just something to impress people or manipulate them or make yourself look like something you are not.
You act one way when you are at church or in front of people and you act a completely different way when you are behind closed doors. You want others to think of you in a certain way so you present yourself in that way, but behind closed doors you are nothing like that. And unfortunately, your kids see it all.
Like I said, they see a hypocrite, someone who is steeped in the world.
They see you drinking. They see how you treat people. They see how you act. They see how you treat your spouse. They hear you cursing. They hear you slandering. They see you being selfish and self-absorbed. They see your pity parties where you are mad at the world. They are witness to it ALL and YOU are the one they are supposed to be able to look to as a holy example to follow.
What kind of an example are you setting for your kids?
Scripture says that parents are to train up their children the way they should go and when they are old they will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6). Part of that is done through instruction but a large part is about setting a consistent example for them to follow (Titus 2:7-8).
Did I mention it is to be consistent? (Deuteronomy 11:19)
This begins with teaching your children scriptural values like love, obedience, kindness, and consideration of others. And they are NEVER too young to begin learning those lessons. The parent who fails to teach their children these things is neglectful and values themselves and their own comfort over their children’s spiritual and personal growth.
A huge part of helping your children draw closer to God and know Him is to TEACH them His nature and how THEY reflect His nature.
Self-absorbed, inconsiderate, rude, disobedient children are the product of self-absorbed, inconsiderate, rude, disobedient parents and God is nowhere in any of that.
Also, doing it right half the time is not enough. You must be consistent. Your actions must match your words. YOU need to be living what you are telling your children.
1 Timothy 3:1-7 describes the requirements of a bishop who oversees a church, but those same qualities are also necessary of a father who oversees his first congregation, his family. It’s a tall order, but it is how you maintain a Godly home and teach your children the way they should go.
1 This is a true saying, if a man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work.
1 Timothy 3:1-7
2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;
3 Not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous;
4 One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity;
5 (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)
6 Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil.
7 Moreover he must have a good report of them which are without; lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.
Bottom line, you have to love your kids enough to put away the things of the world and be that good, Godly, holy example that they need – that they DESERVE.
Do YOU love your kids enough to do that?
Related Post
The majority of Christians or believers that I’ve seen don’t feel real connection to the body they belong to, the church they are a member of. They may fellowship. They may even call that assembly “family.” But at the end of the day, they don’t believe that what they do, what they are involved in outside of the church building, affects anyone but them.
That is so very wrong.
In John 15:5, Yeshua said that we are all connected to Him.
5 I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.
John 15:5
Now, if we are all branches on the same vine, we are connected to each other as well.
Everything is spiritual. Scripture is abundantly clear about that. But also, you can look at the physical body and see direct correlations to things of the spirit. And we can look at our own bodies to understand how we affect the body of believers we fellowship with.
When you have a part of your physical body that is diseased, there are some very interesting physiological processes that take place.
A part of the body is diseased – it can be a hand, toe, an organ, anything. The disease often begins as a minor issue and it doesn’t really affect the rest of the body.
If the disease is allowed to continue, there will be certain reactions that occur, like pain, swelling, limited function or use of that member. At this point, the member is not as effective at doing what it is supposed to do in the body so other parts of the body begin to take on that load to compensate for the loss.
For instance, if your foot is hurt your body will try to protect it and compensate for the pain and difficulty in mobility by changing the natural gait or causing an inability for the person to walk at all.
If the disease is still allowed to continue, other parts of the body will begin to hurt because they are compensating for the diseased member and are being used in ways they were not intended to be used.
If the disease still progresses, the infection will seep into the bloodstream. Now the entire body is being affected. Now the entire body is battling disease.
That infection will then turn to sepsis. This is a critical condition that can be fatal. It can kill the body entirely.
In a medical setting, a surgeon will approach a person with a diseased member. If medical intervention has not worked or if they do not keep up with their treatment as they are supposed to and change their lifestyle, the surgeon may be left with just one option: amputation or removal.
In order to protect the rest of the body, he or she will amputate the member or remove the organ in order to stop the spread of the disease and prevent death to the body.
It is the same spiritually. It is the same when you are a part of a body of believers.
Your sin is not isolated. What you do affects everyone in the body.
Your sin is a disease. As it progresses, other members in the body will try to pick up your slack, but after a while, the disease just overwhelms them. They begin to suffer. The body begins to suffer. If something isn’t done, it will kill the body completely.
Your pastor may step in and try to help you. He may try to counsel you about turning awaaay from sin, making vital lifestyle changes, and encouraging you to pursue a life of holiness.
But if you don’t make those changes and stick to the treatment plan, your disease will only get worse and worse until it overtakes you and overtakes the body of believers you are a part of.
Then you will find yourself actively living in your sin with all the demonic justification and deception that keeps you bound up in it.
At that point, your pastor may determine that you aren’t responding to treatment (because you don’t really want it and you like your sin) and that you are indeed a threat to the body.
Amputation, and removal, are the next steps because that is what is necessary to preserve the body.
So, are YOU important to the body? You better believe it!
Fly right. Stop seeking out the disease of sin and infecting the body.
I know I am going to get a lot of grief over this.
But if this ruffles your feathers, if it offends you, then you need to get on your face and PRAY because that offense is called CONVICTION.
Deal with it.
I recently saw this post on social media.
People started coming at the poster with such a vengeance! They were full of the “what if” questions, anything to find a loophole so they could say the post was wrong.
Anything to allow them to cling to the world and satiate their flesh.
The truth is though, people don’t want to pursue holiness unless it’s holiness by their own definition and on their own terms.
It doesn’t work like that though because Yeshua said, “If you LOVE me you will keep my commandments” – that includes revering Him and making Him the ONLY God in your life.
But the thing about love is that it isn’t about what you are willing to GIVE, it is about what you are willing to GIVE UP.
And the vast majority of Christians have no interest in giving up much of anything. Sure, they will take and take and take whatever Yehovah is giving, but when it comes down to it, they aren’t interested in giving what it takes, what is required. They aren’t willing to crucify that flesh and die to themselves so that He can live in them and through them.
No, they would rather wear Yehovah like a fancy hat or flashy coat and take Him off when they get home and can “relax.”
They want the benefit without the commitment.
It doesn’t work that way.
They don’t want to give up their football games when they have to choose between the game and a church function.
They don’t want to give up hitting the buffet after Sabbath service even though scripture is abundantly clear that we do no work on Sabbath AND we do not cause anyone else to work.
They don’t want to give up their dinner to fast or their time to pray.
They don’t want to give up their worldly dress and appearance for one that is modest, holy, and biblical.
They don’t want to give up their donuts and bread to keep Pesach.
They don’t want to give up their cigarettes, alcohol, and other things that defile their temple.
They don’t want to give up their kids’ extracurricular activities when they have to choose between the activity and a church function.
They don’t want to give up their pagan Christmas and easter and they certainly don’t want to keep the Feast Days of the Lord.
They choose work, kids, spouse, entertainment, substances, everything over Yehovah. He is an afterthought, something that they put on when they want to look holy.
They want to wear the “holy Christian badge” without having the love and making the sacrifice that is required.
Thing is, holiness shines from the INSIDE out. It comes from the changes that Yehovah made on the inside and they shine through to the outside.
And they miss out on the blessings that come with obedience – the HOLINESS of obedience.
We are to come out of the world.
They want to keep one foot in the world.
They want to eat at two tables.
And they are looking for every loophole possible that will allow them to do that.
The problem with loopholes is that it is the beginning of a very slippery slope. When you start compromising holiness and obedience to have a little more fun in the world those standards start falling like dominoes.
And before long, you look just like everyone else.
Your loopholes are the chains that keep you bound to the world and separated from Yehovah.
God does not compromise.
Psalm 119 is abundantly clear about that.
Shalom, Stephanie A. Mayberry
Stephanie A. Mayberry | Pursuing a Life of Holiness 